It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
