your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
