I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I look better un-naked...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
