We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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