I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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