Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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