I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize