Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
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At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
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All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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