You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
