she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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