She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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