That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
