I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
only if we run a train.
done.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
