How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
