i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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