you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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