Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
