Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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