She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
