It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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