i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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