she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
