found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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