can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
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Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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