i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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