I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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