i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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