All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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