I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
