It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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