I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Acid is not a monday night drug
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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