I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
