so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
