i think my tv is drunk
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
