idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
