Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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