He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
