we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
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He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
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The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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