I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
