there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
ugly people sure do ruin things
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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