Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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