i would punch a child for taco bell
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
