I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants