yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect