I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.