Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force