We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.