I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
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