is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
