wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I would fuck him just for his dog
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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