the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Randomize
