Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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