For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Is it penis luge time yet?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
