I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
