You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
