i think my tv is drunk
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize