sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
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i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
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you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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