Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
