Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
