I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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